Hate Them Changes.

I admit that my relationship mostly with my father and younger sister have grown apart lately, and although I am open to admit that most of it is caused by my own foolishness and stubbornness, I also tend to blame everything else that is going on within our life as a family right now. This is how I function on a daily basis; I do things and when something goes wrong, I blame others while still somehow blame myself. It won’t feel bad when there are two sides to blame, end of story.

But my younger sister has taken a liking to turn into the pious path lately and it is because of her boyfriend. Can I be honest—what am I talking about, of course I can—I hate her boyfriend. My younger sister used to be wild, not bad though and she is this person I could lean on whenever, on whatever matter. She is somehow better than me, like a better half in my sibling.

Yet she becomes highly pious, changes her personality and the way she dresses, everything just makes me uncomfortable. Yes, I love that she really wants to change, but this is too drastic for me to adapt with. That is her own path yes, and I admit she has the right to be a better Muslim unlike myself, but I can’t cope with this change.

She ditches our plan to have fun, like going for karaoke because she says it is a sin to sing in public. Overall, I lost my fun and loving young sister for this pious little punk I don’t even feel comfortable to talk with.

And yeah, I hate her. I hate that she is better than I am. I hate that she could have everything at such a young age. And overall, I hate her because she is the reason why my father thinks of me as the trouble kid in our family.

I hate myself for acting childishly, but I am a human is prone to emotions. I hate it when others begin to compare the two of us, saying that she is the better half all the freaking time. I hate when I can’t go out with her without strangers saying that how could I be this kind of girl when my younger sister is that kind of people.

I don’t deal with changes well. I just need my old life back. Screw all of these shit, I am out.