Road To Conclusion.

Let’s recount my messes. I have finally sorted out everything - well, almost everything though. Through the supports I have from my family, I managed to make the drastic decision. Perhaps the most surprising decision I have ever made in my life so far. I can’t say I am feeling hundred percent happy about it but hey, as long as it untangle the messes inside my hopeless brain, I could smile at it.

found via Rerry
I have decided to change college. Yes, I have told you that it is surprising. I haven’t actually started my college life yet, not even after a year because of my surgery last year. I have to continue my studies again this year at the same college but I decided to quit. I feel as if the college I am attending right now is not a place for me. Everything feels so not right whenever I went for classes. Not to quit for good, but to change college. I am now looking for the right one - if the right one is out there somewhere for me.

Sometimes I actually wondered whether I should change my course instead. Taking up graphic design isn’t really easy and my parents actually have different hopes. My father wants me to take up any courses related to management, office or even better, secretarial studies while my mother wants me to take up nursing - since the chances of getting a job after I graduate will actually be hundred percent other than the other jobs. I am now stuck with several choices - graphic design, hospitality and tourism, secretarial and management.

However, since I really love graphic design - things that are related to colors, designing and mostly arts, I decided that I should do this for myself. Not for someone else, but for myself. For what I am going to waste my two and half years in college doing the thing I don't have the heart and soul into just so I could satisfy someone else? I don't want to sacrifice my time. I am afraid of wasting my time. I am going to do the thing I love and prove to everyone who has laugh at my choice that if I have once messed up, I wouldn't do the same twice. Mistakes are a great teacher, it teaches us to not repeat.

I am a girl with multiple favorites. I have always been since elementary school and I can’t change myself anymore. I am too old for changes in that field. I should just stick with the flow - to just live the way I have always been for nineteen years. Yes, because of this I am stuck in between choices but at least I have variations in my life instead of just one choice.

This time, I am going to take the chances. I am also going to take the risk. No longer it matter if people will call me stupid for doing so. Life is all about taking risks, making mistakes and making choices. If I don't dare myself to take the risks, how will I know which one is right for me and which one is wrong. This isn't what I call as bravery. I am not brave - I am still a coward. But this is what I am willing to do. I have always taken the safe route. This time, I am going to break my shell and look out for what the world has for me.

Who knew making choices are hard work. I couldn’t just close my eyes and randomly pick one. If it work like that, well, everything will be so damn easy. But God doesn’t create humans so that we could live an easy life. Surely God wants everything to be hard for humans. I have given up on making wishes but I do hope that at least this time, I have made the right decision.