I do not even need to shout it out to the whole world about how I detest reality and the fact that I am floating in between reality and fantasy it self. I draw my own escape route—off the reality path that I have my life walks on—a complete detour that bring me out of my real misery and into the world where nothing actually matters, except for that I am somehow alive.
Anime—and no, this is no where near the definition of cartoon because if someone ever put anime and cartoon in the same category, I swear I will butcher something—is one of magic doors I create for my self to escape my life. I do not believe in living a life to the fullest and all that shit but anime actually gives me a reason to believe in being alive—just thankful of being alive.
I could trace back the first time I encounter anime is when I am approximately seven to eight years-old. There is an old popular anime that airs weekly on the local television channel and I watch it as if it is my food—my only source of life. I pay too much attention on it that my childish brain hurts.
It never quite stops—my habit of watching weekly anime series that constantly airs through the local television channels—but it often comes to a halt as I grow older. Growing older comes with options and when I am already able to point out what I like and what I do not like, I grow a bit distant from those anime I watch when I am still in elementary school. I shift genres—from comedy and all those shits to something more dramatic.
And then I completely stop. I encounter those shits in my early teenage years—pop culture and a mix of punk rock that I temporarily like, the Korean Pop that inhabits most of my teenage years, fashion that never quite mix with my life and all those other things that push anime out from my life. It seems wrong back then to watch it—it does not click anymore.
But now at the age of twenty going to twenty-one in less than nine months, I finally return to the root that makes the person I am right now. Anime is the magic door that pulls back into the wonderful life I once live in—away from all the teenage dramas. I may be shifting into more genres but to spend my time watching anime gives me back all those warm feelings that I lose as I grow older.
It freaks me out at first—on how I slowly become engross in this life with anime. But I find comfort, somewhere along the way I assume. I enter a new world with every episode I watch, with every new anime series I encounter, with every new fictional characters that I become completely attached with. I am able to show more human emotions toward all these rather than how I show emotions in reality it self.
In one word, I could say anime pulls me out from my depression. Anime is always there when I am alone and I feel as if the whole world is against me. Anime is there for me like a friend who never walks away even when the whole world turns its back against me. Anime is the remedy to all the pain reality inflicts into my life—an escape door, a route that leads to the world where every little thing seems too beautiful to be true.
If anyone to ever dare me to list down all the anime that practically change my life, I could list more than just twenty—because there a lot of anime I watch and somehow manage to alter a bit of how I live my life. I may be dull and boring at times, but I know how I should color my own life better than anyone else and it is all thanks to the anime I grow up watching.
This is a detour I like to take when life begins to take it toll on me—on how reality begins to really hurt and no remedy really does exist to cure all those pains or just take it away. I live my life this way and even if to anyone else it seems completely ridiculous and does not make any sense, I love my life. I may not be living it to the fullest—maybe not yet or somehow, just don’t really matter anymore—but anime makes my life worth all the pain and cry. Anime is the one lifeless thing I could turn to when everyone else betrays me, when the whole world decides to go against me.
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