Experiencing Live Through Children.

I wrote previously about writing about my whole experience as I attended the Shout Awards 2010—but now it seems like my interest in writing that stuff has disappeared, thanks to the ten thousand times better experience that I have after paying a meaningful visit to PERNIM. In case you don’t know what PERNIM stands for, it stands for Persatuan Kebajikan Anak Pesakit HIV/AIDS Nurul Iman Malaysia—in a simpler note, a shelter home for underprivileged kids with HIV/AIDS.

As a student in Public Relation class, my participation in this visitation was mandatory due to the fact that we will be holding a charity dinner for those kids from PERNIM. It was one meaningful visit that made me reflected back on the life I have never been thankful of—when I only knows how to rant and complaint, those kids I met know how to be grateful of life thousand times better than I do.

We went there by bus and all of my friends went there as well. We departed from college about nine and arrived there not long after that. The moment we arrived there, even before I took off my shoes, a young girl approached my friends and I and greeted us so warmly, it felt so right to be there. Such nice accommodation, I thought. And things sort of got better from that point beyond.

There, we met almost more than twenty children from as young as 29 days to perhaps, 12 years-old. They were all such sweethearts. Perhaps it has been my nature to want to get along with kids that I want to be a part of those children’s little play, I watched them play and talk and get excited over everything. I get to listen to their words instead of the other way around and for once, I was able to look deep into the lives of the children who were never normal—the lives that taught me so much today.

It is so hard not to feel some kind of affectionate connection with those unfortunate kids. I mean, the moment we stepped into the house, we could already be connected with them through this awesome relationship called friendship. I would cry at their voices calling my “kakak” (which means “sister”, a polite call for someone older).

I would give everything to spend another day with all those lovely young children who have such mature perspective in lives. With them, I could feel as if I am the innocent one who knows nothing about life when they have been through so much. Through them, I see that the future means everything to them when I could not think the same even when I am slightly more privileged than they are.

I admit, I cried the moment we said our goodbyes. I became so attached to this young girl with wise words named Angelina (I am so sorry, I don’t know how to spell her name the right way), I cried as I gave her my last advice and bid goodbye. It was so hard to take pictures together and wave goodbye. If I could bring you home, I will. To hear her call me as her sister broke my heart to pieces. I can’t even look at her as we walked away to our bus. I mean, in such short time, she lead me into a life I never knew, teaching me things I never knew and became a part of me that I found hard to let go.

They are strong, they are all stronger than any of us not because of their illness—but because they have fought obstacles younger than all of us. They have faced so much, they are old enough in their young ages to face the world. I wish I could be as brave as those children.

This is not a permanent goodbye. I am sure we will meet again during the charity dinner on December 10, 2010. I want to meet her again, and hear her call my name again. I want to feel the warmth those children gave despite their lack of everything when the real truth is that, I am the one who owns nothing when I am there with them.