While watching Tuck Everlasting—a movie of what reminded me on why I actually love underrated movies and good novel adaptations, I became highly interested in the question of an everlasting life—or in a simpler explanation, an immortality. The nature of one would never die and to live eternally. To have the ability to defy death and live a life as a breathing human being on this Earth forever, without a fear of death itself haunting every single minute of a life.
If I happened to ask this question to my self perhaps five years earlier, I would swear to say that I would give everything to achieve immortality—to have to live my life forever without a death as my end. To live a life without a fear of death and its consequences, of living a life to not think about Heaven or Hell—it would be a life I would exchange with anything. Immortality promises me a life of a never ending, as I would standstill in one current age and stay that way forever. It is like frozen in time, literally.
But now that I discovered the movie five years late, I would have to decline this matter. No doubt that I would want to live my life until the very end, but never would I imagine an endless life. I would stay solid and frozen in an age of which I would not experience aging as it takes over my life. My life will be the same repetitive life that will never end. That scares me even more than death it self would. Sure, it will be great to know that I will have no fear against death but to not have fear of death is not a life.
To me, a life is a cycle of being alive and being dead. You are born and have the chance to be alive on the lifespan only God knows how long and an end is put in your life when death comes by. Death teaches us to appreciate life even if it hurt to the point of dying it self but no matter how ugly life would be, death is a promise. To fear death is one of the advantages of being alive, to know an end is coming and to achieve what will would. I don’t believe in living the life to the fullest, but life is worth the living—even if it hurts like hell.
Why choose to live a life eternally when we know, even the most painful life would finally come to an end? Perhaps the perfect reason on why people would trade souls for immortality is not because of the fear of death, but because the fear of aging itself. People are scare to grow old—to have gray hair and wrinkles and to live a solitary life as age reaches 80 or 90. As for me, aging is a process of life. One can’t ever run away—even with the help of Botox or plastic surgeries—because even if age is just a number, it reminds you of how long you have been alive.
Imagine a life tomorrow will be exactly like a life yesterday. No matter how pessimistic am I, I can’t let myself drown in this suffocating imagination of to live a life over and over again without an end, thus I would wish for a better life even with a worst end. I will rather wait for death than to have no fear of death and live immortally in a frozen time line. I want to live a life of which I am proud of, and rather than to fear death, I will open my arms and wait for it to come, because even if it does, at least I know that I have lived my life well and have no regrets. I would want to grow old, to gain experiences and discover life through a pair of eyes of an old lady, if my lifespan spans long enough to allow me to found gray streaks in my hair.
Don’t be afraid of death, Winnie. Be afraid of an unlived life.Don’t be intimidated by death and the fear of it and let it stop you from living a life no matter how fucking painful your life is. Just keep on breathing and be thankful that in this minute we are repeating the inhaling and exhaling process of keeping alive, someone dies. Someone has to stop living a life and yet we are still blessed to continue, to keep moving on—until the time comes, someday.- Angus Tuck, Tuck Everlasting
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