Dear Reality.

found via Tragic-Memory
It seems like even after a while, I am still invincible in the eyes of the one person I wanted to be visibly seen. This is so unlike me - to want to whine about my horrible life and my even worst social life - but when it comes to the point when the one person I really want to love and like doesn’t seem to appreciate or at least acknowledge my presence even for a split second, it seems like, no matter how I try to tell my self that I should feel nothing against something I am used to, I just can’t.

Strange how life change drastically after one short separation and it is even stranger that one life could disregard the other one life that all these times have been around, like the air or like the particles no one see in the air itself. God makes me a stronger person after facing ignorance in my entire life but this ignorance I am facing right now makes me want to crumple and disappear like dust, evaporate into nothingness so that I could always be forgotten, rather than remembered but ignored.

For a long time have I not feel this kind of feeling after what I have been through for the past ten years. This time, I have prayed so that this mutual feeling I have could last long enough to make me feel as if I am walking on clouds, as if I am floating on the finest surface of water. But I guess, life is just a reality that would suck me into a deep black hole that contains nothing but misery.

I guess, this feeling isn’t going to work out. I guess this is the sign that means that I need to back off and step back into my miserable reality. I am okay with pain, I am okay with being this lonely self I have always been but I don’t need the cold look from one person I truly wants to give my heart and soul - although it seems like my heart will stay here with me for a long, long time - now that he is out from the picture.

So long and goodbye, this wonderful feeling. It has been beautiful while you are here to be my companion and thank you for the memories, of making me feel giddy like a little child and to make me have something to look forward to into my life. Thank you, for this short period of happiness that makes me a normal girl after all.