As The End Comes Near

Basically, I have been disappearing like cookies for several times now. I just don't have the mood to write for my blog - not that I don't want to, but I can't find the time to. Yeah, go and guess it right. I have been so busy lately. Of course, amidst of the schedules I have, I also found some more time to be with my friends and just being a nineteen year-old teenager who wants to have fun.

found via chryztoph
How fast can time flies? It is already in the end of May and soon we will be in June. Good news, I am going to college again in June. I have finally made up my mind on enrolling college and choose a course which I think might be what I will be good at (or maybe not, but yes, I am having my fingers cross so that it will be), Journalism. It is time for me to brush my writing skills, both in Malay and English. Two years after leaving high school leaves me with nothing but rusty skills in both language and now, I am not good in neither of them.

I give myself some reward on last Friday where I agreed to follow Mysara and some other friends, Feyra, Anis and Azie to this event call Youth10' at Putra World Trade Center (PWTC), which is so-called as the biggest youth festival. Yeah, it was fun to be with the girls after so many months not seeing each other (well, I haven't seen Feyra in a year, God bless her) but the festival is just quite nice. Maybe it is not something I like. Not my cup of tea. I just went as Mysara told me to. We ate lunch at The Mall where Feyra lost her RM10 and I feel totally guilty because she kept her purse inside my bag. I am so sorry, Feyra. I don't know where the hell did your money go!

Personally, I don't want to even rant about my family. We are in a middle of a financial crisis. When the ignorant meets the sensitive - that would be the title of my family's drama. I would love to stay invincible throughout the cold war which will lead to no end. Thank God I have found my bliss in my nephews or else, I might just go and jump off into the stinky big drain in front of my house and die suffocating the waste that people dumped. I would let my body decay in what people throw in disgust. Eww.

Something is bugging me. The lack of happiness in this family feels just so suffocating. Up to one point, I hope that happiness could just find its way back into my family and makes us grateful to just have each other rather than to blame each other. Not that I would want to hate my parents but now, there are times where I wish I could hate them just for one fucking day. There are times I wish I could kick my younger sister's butt away and stops her from invading into my life. But there are times when I wish that we could all just sit in one small old car we own, just talk along the journey and laughed until our stomachs hurt. It would be nice. Even just in fantasies.

Huh, all this melodrama makes me sick often. I got flu last week and I end up with another case of flu this week. Gosh, please don't let me sick on my first day in college. I know I am not beautiful, at least don't make me look like a living dead on the first day of a very important event!

In case you are wondering, where the hell is the song Flower Rock I used as my background music, well, thanks to YouTube and the fucking Avex with their copyrights matter, most music videos of Flower Rock, including the one I posted on my personal account has been deleted. It is just a matter of time until my account is suspended. Geez, if you are wondering what song I am using now, this will be the FIRST time I use a MALAY SONG as my background music ever since I first open this blog. It is from Shahir, the winner of our most popular reality-tv show, Akademi Fantasia and the song is call Kebahagiaan Dalam Perpisahan or in English, it may be called as Happiness in Separation. Don't mind if you don't understand Malay, just enjoy the song because it is great. Come to think about it, none of us really knows what FT Island or any Korean artistes are singing most of the time but we still practically screams like crazy people, right?

Now, as May comes closer to the end - I wish that I have spend May better than how I did. I wish I have learn more than I had and I wish that I have loved more than I could ever. Well, minus the overloaded love from me towards my favorite jailbait in the world, Song Seunghyun. But hey, now that May is leaving and June is coming, should I look for another jailbait to have fun with (okay, now I am creeping myself out by sounding like a pervert pedophilia) whenever I am bored. Eh, wait a minute. Hongki said he hates fans who comes and goes. Okay, I will stay loyal then. Until we enjoy the precious May in 2011 again, I am going to miss the fifth month of the year.